Charming Man Blog: Attract Women With Charm!

Here are a few reasons why you may not want to be that nice guy you thought you were suppose to be.

1.You get to become her little favor boy. (Buy her stuff, do favors for her, and get nothing back in return.)

2.You get a kiss on the cheek, but never where you really want it.

3.You get to poor out your feelings for her just so you can hear “I had no idea that you felt that way.”

4.You get to watch the woman of your dreams date one jerk after another.

5.You will spend many nights alone.

6.You will spend more time watching porn then you will making your own porn.

7.You will spend lots of money taking women to expensive restaurants while some other guy takes women for a walk in the park and gets laid doing it.

8.You will have to take whatever woman that will have you rather then the woman that you really want.

9.You will spend more time dreaming and fantasizing about the dating life you want rather then living the dating life you want.

10. You have to listen to women tell you what a great guy you are, how nice you are, and how sweet you are. Those same women would never want to date you.

11. You get to have women cry on your shoulders.

12. Women will love to talk to you because they can tell you all about their problems.

13. You will call many women only for them to never return your call.

14. You will have to hear women tell you that your not their type.

15. Women tell you all the time that they are busy. That same woman will call you up later because she needs to talk about her problems or she will want you to do a favor for her.

16. You get to live your life thinking that someday the right woman will come along who will treat you nice and want you back.

17. You get to believe that being really nice is the right way to make a woman love you.

18. You spend your entire life believing that by being really nice your simply being yourself.

19. You will eventually find a woman who will want to marry you just because you are nice.

20. Your future wife who married you because you are nice will eventually cheat on you do to “nice guy boredom syndrome.”

21. Women will push you around as if you were a nobody.

22. You will be expected to buy women many drinks at the bar.

23. You will buy a woman her favorite flowers only for her to shove them to the side or throw them out all together.

24. You will approach many women thinking that you are bothering her instead of thinking your the best thing to ever happen to her.

25. You might set a world record for trying to woo the same woman for many years.

26. You will work your ass off thinking that you need to be rich, drive a great car, and live in a mansion only to find out that the best woman you can get is a gold digger.

27. You get to make your mom proud for being so darn nice.

28. You will respect women only to find out that women don’t respect you.

29. Women will tell you how much they want to meet a nice guy. Unfortunately, as nice as you are, they don’t see you as that nice guy that they want to meet.

30. People will tell you to just be yourself even when that’s what you think that you have been doing all along.

31. Women will mistaken you as one of their girlfriends or as a gay.

I like being nice. I like thinking that I’m a nice person. Sometimes I do nice things for others. I was brought up to be nice.

Many guys think the same way that I do. But there is one difference between me and you.

I don’t let women or any other person for that matter walk all over me and dominate me.

That’s the biggest problem that nice guys have. It’s also very interesting. When you don’t let a woman walk over you she usually feels more attracted to you and respects you allot more.

She will test your boundaries.

She will try to see how far she can go and how much you will put up with.

You have to make certain that within the first few minutes she knows that your not one of those nice guys she can push around.

You can bet that she will say something or do something that will put you to the test.

Her: Will you hold my purse?
You: I don’t hold purses.
(Shows her that you won’t baby her or turn into a wimp by standing in public holding her purse.)

Her: Will you buy me a drink?
You: Only if you buy me one.
(This shows her that you aren’t like other guys. She has to play on a level playing field with you.)

Her: Your such a nerd.
You: Thank you.
(Taking her insult as a compliment. Nerds are smart and run many of todays businesses.)

Her: Your going to have to leave now. My friend needs that chair.
You: No. I have to go now. I might see you around later.
(Leaving on your own terms instead of hers. After all you could always grab another chair.)

Use what you have learned here the next time you are out meeting women. I guarantee women will stop pushing you around.

One of the most popular places to meet women is at clubs, bars, pubs, and lounges. Personally, I think that many of these places are overrated.

You don’t really know why the women are there. It could be just to get mens attention so they can validate themselves, girls night out, dancing, someones birthday, an escape for her problems, and maybe other reasons.

A large quantity of these women are not going to be open to meeting you at all. Sure, they will take your attention, but that is about all.

This is why running around the club talking to every woman that you see is a big mistake. This is the opposite to what I used to think. I used to think that if I wasn’t socializing then I would look strange.

If women see you running around hitting on all the the other women it raises a red flag.

Am I his second choice?

How many women has this guy approached?

This guy must be desperate for sex..

This guy is defiantly out to pickup women tonight…

Here is what you should be doing.

- Take in the environment in a very relaxed manner.
- Gaze around the room.
- Lean against something.
- Find a comfortable place to sit and lean back comfortably.
- Don’t rush to approach just any woman.
- Make eye contact and hold it with other women.
- Talk to other guys.
- Enjoy your drink and take in the music.
- Go to enjoy your night out even if you don’t meet any women.
- Be selective and picky about the women you approach.
- Watch for signals that women give off that they might want you to approach them.
- Send out a very calm and relaxed vibe.
- Don’t be afraid to go by yourself, walk around by yourself, sit by yourself, or stand by yourself. This is a strong indication of confidence.

Give those things a try. I’m willing to bet you will have more success and even have some women approach you.

To be successful at life you need to live your life aggressively. You have to identify what it is you want and be willing to go through the sorts of experiences that are required to get it.

If you wanted to be a doctor then you have to pay the price of doing things that others wont. That means years of eduction, seeing people die, giving people bad news, and all the other quirks that go along with it. This makes you courages because few can do this job.

If you want a beautiful woman the same mentality applies. You have to overcome the fear of approaching her, dealing with her tests, overcoming your poor looks, and lack of money. Most of these are just obstacles that are in your own head. Most men won’t be able to overcome these obstacles witch will only give you an edge if you can.

You Wait For Nothing.

You don’t wait for people, you don’t wait for that great woman to come in your life, you don’t wait for opportunity, you don’t wait for money, you don’t wait for something easier, and you don’t wait for yourself to overcome fears.

You are a go getter. You are a doer.

When you go after what you want you are always making a step forward towards your goals. You overcome obstacles and boundaries that others are afraid to conquer. This is what makes you a man.

Your not very good looking? So what? Your strength, determination, lack of fear, and bullheaded attitude will get even the hottest of women.

Stop Living Life As If You Were Going To Live Forever

You will die.

I know it and so do you. What are you going to do about it? Keep watching TV? Is that going to get you your girl?

Don’t live your life based on fear. Live your life based on experience. What do you want to experience before you die? It doesn’t matter if you fail or succeed. It’s all about the experience of doing it and living your life.

Now get out there and do something!

If you haven’t figured it out yet women don’t typically like nice guys. When I say nice I normally mean men that take niceness to levels that are beyond real. Of course women may still date one or marry one for various reasons. If she does she will often be left unfulfilled.

Here are a few ways she can tell that you are too nice and at the same time turn her off.

1.You never raise your voice.
2.You never get angry.
3.You never express any emotion.
4.You don’t ever challenge her.
5.You agree with everything she says.
6.You never take charge or get aggressive.
7.You let people push you around right in front of her.
8.You never take any risks or chances at life.
9.Your afraid of making her angry.
10. You have no edginess to your personality.
11. Your afraid to talk dirty to her.
12. Your afraid to touch her.
13. Your afraid to swear even just a little around her.
14. You won’t tell her when she is out of line.
15. Your afraid to be a man. (Like sports, heavy metal, fast cars, video games, motorcycles, etc)

That last one is maybe one of the most important ones because it sums things up at it’s finest. If she wanted a woman then she would be dating a woman. You might just as well be the man that you were born to be.

So you have probably gotten all sorts of dating advice over your life. You have gotten it from friends, from family, your parents, other women, the media, and dating experts. But you still got no woman.

Guess what?

You have a problem.

Yes you!

Your going nowhere fast. Your just spinning your wheels. Now what are you going to do? Your going to keep on keeping on. I’m going to show you how.

First, the reason you keep spinning your wheels is almost always because you are not pushing yourself out of your usual comfort zone. That is just a fact. People like to feel comfortable not uncomfortable. It feels very comfortable to keep on doing what you have always done. Your comfort zone protects you and puts you in a safe haven.

Hmmm… It feels so good in there. Doesn’t it?

I’m going to give a great tip that will help you break out of your comfort zone. The trick to all of this is to actually go and do it.

Change Your Routine

This is as simple as changing things up. Go a different way to work, different restaurants, different places on your walk, and just different places then you would normally go to.

Start doing things out of order.

If your Saturday looks like this

1.Get up
2.Clean Apartment
3.Work out
4.Do laundry
5.Shop For Groceries
6.Watch Some TV
7.Go Out With Guys

then find a way to break it up and make it different. Modify it, do something different, skip something, or do something on a different day. You don’t have to be an efficient well oil machined.

I want you to particularly take note of how you feel when you start doing things differently. If you take a walk on a different path how does it make you feel? Do you feel lost? Do you have to ask for directions? Does everything just seem different to you? Are you seeing different types of people then what you normally would? All of that is good. Once you get used to it; it starts to make you feel excited because your not doing the same old boring things all the time.

Change Where You Normally Go To Meet Women

Where do you currently go to meet women? For many men it ends and starts at bars. Some men like to meet women at work. There are probably many men who go nowhere to meet women. Yikes!

So here is what you got to do. The places you currently go to meet women are now places you go to for another reason.

Going to the club –> Going to have fun with friends.
Going to work –> Going to do your job. (Oh the horror.)
Your home (Meaning you go nowhere) –> The kingdom you bring women home too.

This means you no longer will go to those places to meet women. You can talk to women if you want or ignore them completely if you want to in those usually places.

Now what you have to do is go to places you wouldn’t normally go to meet women.

You go to the bookstore to buy books –> Now your going to ask a woman for her opinion on a book.
You go to the mall to shop –> Now your going to the mall to ask a woman you don’t know for fashion advice.

Make your reasons to go are specific.

“It’s not I’m going so I can meet women at the mall.” It should be “I’m going to the mall to ask a woman to help me out with fashion advice.” Make it your goal and focus in on it.

As you can see your switching things around. There are many interesting things that can come out of this. You may find that now that your going to the bar just for fun that it is easier to meet women. Why? Because your not trying, there is no pressure on you, and you start sending out better vibes. You may even find that women start approaching you at the bar.

Now you have to try this stuff. It won’t work if your don’t do anything. If you do try it you will find that you start to get excited about doing things that get you out of your comfort zone. This can only lead to better things for you.

This exercise might seem a little wacky, but you will start to understand it better after you do it.

Most of us guys don’t approach women because we are afraid of how she will respond to us.

Will she reject you?

Does she have boyfriend?

Is she married?

Will she ignore me?

Will she get angry at me and tell me off?

But so what if she does do any of those things? Those are all answers to things that you need to know if you want to see how far you can take things with her.

If she is married do you really want to keep pursuing a married woman? If you didn’t approach her you would never know that. Instead, you would be left with the guilt of not knowing. Not knowing what she is like, if she is open to dating you, or if she is unavailable.

It puts the end of “If only I had just said something to her”.

Now is the time for you to start talking to the women that catch your interest. Start a conversation with her by looking at what makes her stand out.

Is it a piece of jewelry?

Is it a tattoo?

Something noticeable about her hair?

What about her shoes?

Her shirt?

Her vibes or energy?

You: Hi
Her: Hi
You: You must be from a small town?
Her: Actually I’m from New York. What made you think that?
You: You just seem to have a really down to earth vibe that is rare coming from a big city girl.
Her: I’ll take that as a compliment. I like to think of myself as a down to earth kind of girl.

And on your conversation goes.

This of course doesn’t just work on women you are attracted. You should actually use it on all sorts of different people. Being social is a very attractive quality and just because you talk to a woman doesn’t mean you have to hit on her.

Remember that when you approach a woman your looking for answers. What kind of answers?

If she is more then just a pretty face?

If she is interested in seeing you again?

If she is available if you happen to like her?

Make it a goal of yours to try talking to women just for the sake of talking to them and to learn something about them. Only worry about numbers and future dates if you think she has more to offer.

Get away from the computer and give it a try right now!

Seeing is believing.

You create your own reality.

When a woman looks at you she sees the things that you believe to be true about yourself. When you think that you are too fat everyone else sees that you are too fat. When you think that you are amazing then everyone else sees that you are amazing too. Sure some of them won’t like you, but that’s because they are jealous of how amazing you are.

The interesting thing about beliefs is that they control your reality. The minute you assume that your not good enough for a certain woman things will start to fall apart. The minute you assume that you are good enough for a certain woman is when things start to go your way. You don’t have to do anything other then think differently. That is how big of a factor this can have in your life.

People don’t really know what to think of you. So they just end up thinking the same things of you that you think of yourself. The human mind is lazy. If you act like your somebody then they all assume that you are somebody. If you act like a nobody then they all assume that you are a nobody. Of course you don’t want to act like a somebody. You want to get to the point where you are a “somebody.” You can do that just with how you believe in yourself.

If you think your too short then behave as if you are someone is tall. Walk tall, stand tall, and never think for a minute that you are too short for her. Will she test you on your size? Maybe.

Her: I don’t date guys who are shorter then me.
You: And I don’t date girls who are taller then me.

You both just disqualified each other.

Now all you do is pursue her anyways. When you hook up it will make her feel real special. She will tell her friends how you don’t normally date girls taller then you, but you made an exception for her. Nice.

Obviously that is just a start. There are lots of different things you can do to overcome your limiting beliefs. Just meeting women with a different mindset and having success will help you more then almost anything.

You have probably heard that you shouldn’t talk about yourself too much when you are talking to women. That is true to a certain degree. Even I have implied that a fair bit. However, you shouldn’t take that to an extreme.

Often many men will use it as an excuse to not talk at all. “I thought I was suppose to let her do all the talking!” they say. This is really nothing more then shyness, anxiety, fear, and a no confidence.

The real point of letting a woman do the talking is to let her do it naturally because you have made her comfortable with talking to you. Sometimes, to make a woman comfortable talking about herself to you; you need to be able to talk about yourself first. This allows her to get to know you.

Talking about yourself shows confidence. When you do it your opening yourself up to be criticized. She might not like the shows you watch on TV, she might hate the music you do, and hate the movies that you do. Your afraid of that because you want to find common interests with her.

The truth is that she doesn’t care that much that you don’t have lots in common. She cares more about you being comfortable with who you are and having a passion for the life that you live. When she sees that you love those things she will learn to respect that. Having lots in common will just be a bonus.

Many women will test you to see how comfortable you are with yourself, to see if you are trying impress her, or if you will even change for her. Most men look at this as a bad thing, but the truth is that you can use it to get her talking about herself.

Her: What kind of music do you like?
You: I listen to allot of metal. Cradle of Filth is one of my favorite bands.
Her: My brother listens to that stuff. I can’t believe that you listen to music like that. That’s not even singing. That guy is just screaming!
You: Well that’s nice… What kind of “singing” do you listen too.
Her: I listen to Mariah carey!
You: I can’t believe that you listen to music like that. That’s not even singing. That girl is just screaming!
Her: Hey! Stop Making Fun Of Me!

You should be getting the point now. The next time you talk to a woman give some of the things I have talked about here a try.

I have written a fair bit about the “lets just be friends problem.” It’s probably one of the biggest problems that most men run into. Today’s article is going to take a look at another part of that problem.

The problem were going to look at it is how long should you wait for a woman to decide that she wants to be more then just friends?

The answer?

You don’t wait… The best you can do is to be there in her life for when she is ready for you.

When a woman just wants to be friends it means she isn’t ready for the sort of experience you can provide her with. She might find you to be a nice guy, but that alone isn’t enough for her right now. It’s always possible she has other issues she needs to figure out right now about herself.

She may never figure out that you are as great of a guy that you think you are. She may never sort out her own personal problems. She may never be ready for you…

That is why you don’t wait. You can stay in her life by being a good positive presence. Just maybe some day she will be ready for you. You can’t force her to want to date you or be with you in that way.

While you may still be in her life you keep on dating other women. You test the field to see what other great women are out there. Eventually you will find one that wants you back, who wants the experience you can provide her with, and ultimately gives you what you want.

- Don’t try to date the same woman for a month.
- Don’t try to date the same woman for 3 months.
- Don’t try to date the same woman for 6 months.
- Don’t try to date the same woman for a year.
- Don’t try to date the same woman for your entire life.

If you get caught in that trap the only thing you will ever do is miss out on opportunity. How many other great women could you have met and actually dated during that same period of time? Allot!

INSTEAD OF TRYING To DATE THE SAME WOMAN WHO DOESN’T WANT YOU FIND WOMEN WHO ACTUALLY WANT TO DATE YOU

Every other woman is a waist of your time when your looking for the right one.

Part of this is accepting that the world is full of great women for you to meet. Women are not rare. Take look around. You will see beautifully women everywhere. Don’t be so quick to invest all your energy into one woman. Be a little picky and meet allot of women first.