Charming Man Blog: Attract Women With Charm!

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There really is no easy way to overcome your fears of being rejected by a woman. Most people can only overcome them once they have had enough success and enough experience.

For example, if you were learning how to play basketball you will miss allot of shots at first. If you stick with the learning process you will start to make more and more shots. The more shots you make the more your confidence builds. You will still miss shots even once you have gotten good, but by then you will have learned how to deal with those misses on a mental level.

As you can see, there really is no substitute for experience. Your going to have to accept rejection as part of the learning process.

Now I’m going to give you 3 tips that will help ease the pain of rejection.

Tip #1 Set A Realistic Goal

For some reason allot of guys think that a woman should fall head over heals for him right off the start. It doesn’t really work that way. Be realistic about what a woman will give you back.

Can you get her to talk about herself?

Can you make her laugh?

Can you make her smile?

Can you get her number?

These are some of the things you should be focusing on. Forget about buying her flowers and then expecting her to fall in love with you. I wouldn’t bother even making sex your primary goal. Sex has a tendency to make allot of men stupid.

Tip #2 Watch Her Body Language

One of the best ways to minimize rejection is by knowing when to make your moves and knowing when to back off. This is great to learn as it can help your confidence when your learning this stuff.

If a woman is giving you signs she is disinterested and bored then excuse yourself. But if she is giving you go signs then it’s time to make your move.

Tip #3 Accept It As A Learning Experience

Learning can be allot of fun if you let it be. Most men won’t let it be fun. They take things way to serious.

When you ask a woman out you are giving her a choice. She gets the choice to see you again or the choice to never want to see you again. That is her decision to make. All you have to do is respect that decision and see what you can learn from it if she isn’t interested in you. What ever you do don’t take a “no” personally. Often you will find that you really didn’t do anything wrong at all.

By itself getting a woman’s phone number doesn’t mean a whole lot of anything.

- It doesn’t mean you will get a date.
- It doesn’t mean you will get a hold of her over the phone.
- It doesn’t mean she likes you.
- It doesn’t mean you will ever see her again.
- It doesn’t mean she will give you the right number.
- It doesn’t mean she will even remember you.

That’s kind of a slap in the face for guys who try real hard to get lots and lots of womens numbers.

If you want to get a good number then there are two things you need to work on.

1.You need to be able to keep a good extended conversation.
2.You need to have good social skills over the phone.
3.You need to get her email too.

Let’s look at these in a little more detail.

1. The longer you talk to her and give her a good time the more likely she is to remember you. Getting a womans number fast is great when your just starting out, but as you go along you will find that it’s not enough time to create a good connection with her. Work on setting up mini dates on the spot if at all possible.

2. The same thing applies here. When you are just starting out your phone calls should be simple, short, and to the point. With more experience you can use the phone to resell yourself. This will remind her why she liked you so much when you met. You got to get good at talking over the phone.

3. E-mail is great for allot of reasons. It’s very easy to contact one another through e-mail. You can get in contact with her over e-mail a few times to resell yourself. This is great if you can’t get her over the phone.

To get her contact information all you have to do is ask. Use her name and tell her why you want it.

“Suzy ( Use her name to make a connection.) I find you really nice to talk to. (The reason why). I got to go, but I want to see you again. Why don’t you write your number down right here.” (Hand her a pen and piece of paper.)

Of course you have to do it at the right time too.

That’s about as simple as it can get. If you want to play this game then your going to have to get good at following up on these women.

Be honest - are you one of those shy guys who can’t approach women?

Are you one of those guys who can’t start a conversation?

Are you one of those guys who doesn’t feel comfortable in the presence of a beautiful woman?

I have good news for you. Today were going to take a look at how you can over come your issues with shyness.

Tip #1: Go Where Your Comfortable

Forget about approaching women in places that make you feel uncomfortable. Go to places where you will feel comfortable meeting strangers. In many cases this will be places where you have interests. If you like to work out then starting a conversation at the gym might be a good idea. If you like to bowl then meeting women at the bowling alley might be a good place for you to meet women.

Obviously, with you being shy you will find it difficult anywhere. But you still need to push your boundaries a little. So if your going to push then push in places where you will be more comfortable.

Tip #2: Learn Small Talk

Learn to talk to people everywhere. If your at the grocery store ask the cashier how her day has been. Start saying Hi and asking people How are you? Most people will just think your friendly.

Little things like this will help you out a great deal when it comes to building conversation skills. You don’t have to just practice on beautiful women. Start by talking to anyone.

Tip #3: Ask For Her Opinion

When you are stuck for things to say just ask her for her opinion on something. It won’t seem weired if it is in context.

At the bookstore you can ask her for her opinion on a good book.

At the grocery store you can ask her for her opinion on food.

This works because most people are eager to offer their own thoughts.

Tip #4: Take Classes Or Join A Club

The best way for a shy person to meet people is through classes, clubs, or groups. You will have the same interests as others that are there and this makes it easy for conversation. You don’t have to put any pressure on yourself to meet women. You can just make friends with them and be social.

Tip #5 Don’t Use It As An Excuse

Most people have moments of where their not open to meeting new people or where they find someone a little intimidating. We can all be a little shy sometimes.

The problem is when you fall back on your shyness as an excuse to not approach women. You have to make the decision to not be shy around a specific woman. Let her see some of your better qualities.

It’s not “I’m too shy.”

Instead it’s… “I might be a little shy, but I want to get to know her. I’m going to go ahead and speak to her.”

I bet your frustrated over your inability to ask a woman out on a date.

I bet your even more frustrated of being rejected.

That’s no problem. We have all been there. I’m going to give you a 5 step system that will help you increase your chances of getting a yes and help you deal with rejection at the same time.

Step 1: It Starts With Confidence

No surprise here. Everything starts with confidence. This is fairly straightforward. Stand up straight. Look her right in the eyes. Keep your hands to the side. Make sure you get your voice under control. You don’t want to be shaky or have a nervous sounding voice.

You need the right mindset too. Just assume that she will say yes and that she will want to go out with you. Be sure of yourself. Don’t let the self-doubt come over you. There are attractive women out there that are lonely and they want to spend time with you. Don’t make it easy for her to resit your charm. Put your focus right on her.

Step 2: Have A Plan

You have to have some sort of idea of what you would like to do before you ask her out. This keeps you ready and reduces anxiety.

Your plan could be just about anything. Just make sure you stay away from the normal. Dinner and a movie is an average date at best. The more original your offer is the more tempting it will be.

Step 3: How To Ask Her Out

Ideally you want to ask her out in person. I have done it over the phone, text messaging, and e-mail. In person is always the best because, it shows confidence, and it makes it harder for her to reject you when she has to look you in the eyes.

As for words, you don’t want to say something that makes it easy for her to reject you. “Would you like to go out sometime?” makes it easy for her to reject you.

“I want to see you again. We should get together for coffee sometime.” This is much more powerful. This shows her that you aren’t afraid of wanting to see her again or getting rejected.

Step 4: How To Handle A No

Rejecting isn’t serious, but most men handle it as if they were just diagnosed with a rare disease. So don’t try to handle it. Respond to it and accept it. When you ask a woman out you are just giving her a choice. The choice is hers. It was your choice to ask her out. It is your role as a man to make that choice. It is her role as a woman to say yes or no.

It doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you and she may not even no why she said no. She can only reject you based on what she knows about you so far. In many cases she knows very little about you. Live your life with abundance rather then scarcity. There are plenty of women for you to meet.

You can politely continue the conversation or end it. You can even ask again. Sometimes persistence can pay off.

Step 5: Make Her Commit

You: I want to see you again. We should get together for coffee sometime.
Her: I would like that.
You: Good. How does Thursday afternoon sound?
Her: Good.
You: I’ll meet you at the Hot Buba Wuba Coffee House then.

Women can be flaky and very spontaneous. If she can find something better to do on Thursday afternoon then meet you for coffee then she will. Get her to commit as soon as you can. Don’t wait and call her over the phone.

Conclusion

One thing that I didn’t mention is this article is how much she is attracted to you and enjoys talking to you. If she already finds you compelling then these five steps will almost guarantee you a date. But if she has already decided that she doesn’t like you or if she has a boyfriend then these steps probably won’t work. You simply can’t force a woman into liking you or make her give up on her boyfriend if she is in love.

When you pursue a woman you are giving that woman power. You are committed to making things work between you and her. This causes you to place a high level of importance on this woman.

When you stop pursuing a woman you take back that power. Nothing she can say or do to you will bother you.

She doesn’t show up on a date? Who cares you have other things you can do.

She doesn’t call you back? Doesn’t matter. You probably won’t wait for her call anyways.

She is out on a date with another guy? Is doesn’t matter either. You are out on a date with another woman.

Men who run around chasing after women are stressed. They feel the pressure of approaching a woman, of calling a woman, of getting her to commit to a date, and just getting her to put more of their attention on them.

What if you could stop aggressively pursuing a woman? What if you could let her do a little more of the chasing? Doesn’t that sound a little bit better?

I don’t think you can give up on pursing a woman altogether. I do think that you have to get the woman putting more effort into pursuing you. For the most part this is an attitude adjustment more then anything.

Here are a few things you might want to try.

- Try giving out your number and contact information more often.
- Always have other options when it comes to making plans with a woman and dating women.
- Set rules for how many times you will call a woman before she will call you back. Don’t just keep trying the same woman over and over again.
- Don’t wait to long for a woman to show up or call you.
- Don’t just cook her dinner let her cook you dinner.
- Don’t try to impress her let her try to impress you.
- Stop jumping through a bunch of hoops for her. Let her jump through some hoops.
- Women are not rare. If one doesn’t treat you equally then find one that will.
- Have your own rules. She will have to agree to those rules or you will find a different woman who will agree to them.

More then anything you need to find an equal balance. If she is doing all the work then the process can become a challenge for her, but not necessarily something she will put up with forever.

They sure do.

What about nice guys?

They do to.

Who do women prefer?

Neither. They want something in between.

What Women Like About Bad Boys

- He makes his own rules
- He is a challenge
- He is exciting
- He is different then most of the other guys she meets
- He will walk away from her only to make her want him more
- He is extremely confident
- He is almost too selfish
- She can’t control him
- He is masculine
- He is a great flirt

The bad boy takes almost all of those things to an extreme. Most women prefer him to the nice guy because he is exciting and keeps her on her toes. However, she may eventually learn that she can’t settle into a long-term relationship with him.

What Women Like About Nice Guys

- He is a provider
- He respects her
- He supports her
- She knows he won’t hurt her
- He is stable
- He is good for marriage and family
- He looks out for her
- He listens to her

Some women do like nice guys. They want a guy they can start a family with and want his comfort. The downside is that she may eventually get bored with him and leave him for a guy who is more exciting.

Now if you could only combine some of those things together what would you have? You would have many of the characteristics of a charming man.

Approaching a woman is one thing and keeping the conversation going is another. Both are very big problems that many men have.

Today were going to look at that awful thing that happens after you have made a great connection. That awful thing happens to be running out of things to say.

Now lets think this through.

Do you always have something to say to your friends? Do you always have something to say to family members? No you don’t! What you have is that feeling that you can say anything to them. Not only do you have that feeling, but your friends do to.

Many people would call what I just described as rapport. Call it what ever you want. The point is that when two people have a connection they never run out of things to say because they feel as if they can share anything with one another.

It’s not easy to create that feeling with a woman. There are obstacles you need to overcome. Your strangers, you might judge one another, and you have no past. Here are a few ways you can get around that.

Deal With Your Anxiety

One of the main reasons its hard to keep a conversation going is because you want to impress her. You have to try to give up that need to impress her. Instead of trying to impress you want to be interested in her. Witch you leads to…

Ask Open-Ended Questions

You have to make an effort to get to know her. If you ask boring questions and simple yes or no questions then your not trying hard enough. Once you ask these questions you can easily come up with more questions to ask her based on what she just told you. For example, if she says she is from Miami you can ask her related questions about Miami.

Have Your Own Opinion & Comments

If you just ask questions then it’s just an interview. Add your own comments, have your own thoughts, and opinions to the things she just said. This isn’t very hard to do, but there is that fear of saying the wrong thing that you need to overcome.

Share An Experience Together

Talking alone isn’t good enough. You have to get out there and do something together. This could be dancing, a walk, shopping, or something. Even something small like that can make a huge difference.

Escalate

Your interactions, dates, conversations, and so forth need to constantly be moving forward. You can’t just sit in the lets just be friends category forever. The more things move forward in your relationship the more you will feel comfortable talking to one another. This is probably the most important. If you don’t keep moving things forward then your conversation will usually come to a halt.

Don’t Talk Every Day

When you first start dating there is no reason for you to speak every day. You will probably get sick of each other allot faster if you do speak constantly.

Conclusion

While all these things sound simple on the surface they do take some practice. Keep in mind that the more you take interest in her the easier the conversation will be. And the more interesting of a life you live the more interested she will be to find out how interesting you are.

Probably one of the more difficult things for a man to do is a call a woman he just met for the first time. It’s hard to know if she will be the same person over the phone as she was in person. There is also some added pressure there if you are going to be asking her out on a first date.

Were going to take a look at 5 tips that can help you deal with some of the problems that come up when calling a woman for the first time.

Tip #1: Have A Backup Plan

If your feeling lots of pressure and nervousness then it’s because you are placing a huge amount of important on this call.

What are you going to do if you can’t reach her by phone? Don’t just wander around your home wondering what she is doing and why you can’t get a hold of her. Be busy by having things to do yourself.

What are you going to do if she says no to getting together? Do you have other plans that you can fall back on? Are you going to hang out with the guys? Do you have other womens number that you can call.

You have to keep your options open. Women can be flaky at times and you need to deal with it in the right way. If you don’t deal with it correctly you will find yourself disappointed allot and will eventually have its effects on your confidence.

Tip #2: Get Her E-mail Too

Many women are not the same over the phone as they are in person. There are lots of different reasons for this that I wont get into here. I find that getting both the womans e-mail address and her phone number to be very effective. There is advantages and disadvantages to both. I think that you will find e-mail to be very effective because she can respond to it whenever she gets time to do so. Text messaging her cell phone can also be effective. Just realize that her phone number alone isn’t your only option.

Tip #3: Have Something Interesting To Say

You don’t want to just blab on and on over the phone. It will leave nothing to say in person and your more likely to say something stupid because of your nervousness. However, it will help to say a few interesting words before you get to asking her out. By talking a little you bring back some of that original first impression you gave her. Bring up something that you know would interest her based on what you have learned about her so far.

Tip #4: Call When You Say You Will Call

If you tell a woman when you will call her make sure that you do call her at that time. This shows her that you are a man of your word. If she’s not home then just leave a message. You have to show her that you are a man of integrity. Sounds simple, but it drives a woman crazy when a guy doesn’t call when he says he will. Don’t expect her to be waiting for your call. That would be expecting too much from her.

Tip #5: Call Her When You Are Ready

There has been allot of rules made up for when the best time to call a woman is. Some of those rules have been proven and some of them aren’t. I generally live by the philosophy of “I’ll call her when I’m free to do so.” In some cases I may never get around to calling a woman because I’m too busy doing something else. By adapting this frame it keeps you in control. Be careful that you don’t use that frame of mind as an excuse to not call any women.

Of course if you tell her you will call then make sure that you do. See number #4 for more information on that.

If you want to be good at attracting women and keeping women then you need to master the art of seduction. Not an easy thing by any means.

Were not just talking about seducing random women either. To keep a girlfriend and wife you will need to be able to seduce her over and over again. So it is a useful long-term skill.

What I’m going to give you today is just a few random tips. There is no structure to any of the things in this list. These are just a few things you can apply at the right moments.

Technique #1: Make Her Feel How She Wants To Feel

Every woman wants to experience different types of feelings. If you can make her feel those feelings then she will relate them to you. Of course these feelings need to be positive. If she wants to have fun then you give her fun feelings. If she wants to feel protected then you give her feelings of being protected. It sounds simple, but it is very powerful because she will relate those feelings to you if you are the one who makes her feel them.

(Special Note: Use this with caution. You can do many harmful things to a woman with this technique.)

Technique #2: Escalating

Like it or not you are a man. Men are expected to initiate and progress things forward. By taking charge it makes her feel more comfortable with her role as a woman. You need to always be moving things a little bit forward. This goes from initiating conversation, flirting, sexual innuendo, touch, kissing, and getting things even more physical. Again, this sounds simple, but many men get labeled as a friend because they don’t keep things moving forward.

Technique #3: Talk To Her Like A Lover

A big mistake many men make is to simply talk to a woman as if she were a potential friend rather then a potential lover. It’s a mistake I used to make all the time. You have to mix that normal conversation up with things that create sexual tension. Doing this is rather easy. You tease her, misinterpret things she says, the tone of your voice, and put a sexual spin on things.

Here is an example.

You: You give a terrible handshake. It’s very limp. I good handshake should be nice and firm.
Her: (Smiling) Is that right?
You: Yes. Give me your hand and I will show you.

Technique #4: Seductive Eye Contact

Most men have a hard time even looking a woman in her eyes. It’s a very big problem. You can learn allot from a woman on this one. Have you ever notice how a woman looks at a man she is attracted to? Women look at men they are attracted to as if they want them and desire them. You need to have that look when you are attracted to a woman. It’s a great compliment to a woman and shows her your attention is on her.

Technique #5: Compliance

This is one of the more useful things you can learn. What you do is get the woman to invest in you. This could be by getting her to do a favor for you instead of you always doing favors for her. For example, you could let her buy you a coffee or a drink. This separates you from other men and it gets her used to the idea of doing things that you might suggest.

Most of the things in that list are fairly simple. That’s what makes them easy to overlook. Try them out and you will see a very big difference in how women respond to you.

Have you ever wondered how these older men do it?

You know the ones that I’m talking about don’t you?

That older guy that is walking down the street holding hands with a woman 10 to 20 years younger then him?

Today were going to take a look at how these guys do it and why younger women are attracted to these older men.

Are Age Gaps Okay?

It’s always a hot topic to discuss whether age gaps are a good thing or a bad thing. For me they simply mean two people who currently have a thing for one another. A gap is just a gap.

Some people make the argument that an age gap romance will never last. It’s a fair argument. With an age gap two people can grow apart very easily as they go through the different fazes of their life. Since there is an age gap it wouldn’t be hard for the two to grow apart.

If you take another look at this you will realize that people can grow apart even if they are of the same age. It happens all the time for many reasons. In my opinion this alone makes the argument of people growing apart because of age rather mute. People grow apart every day who are in very similar age range. That really is the bottom line.

Another thing you need to consider is that most relationships fail at some point anyways. A matter of fact all relationships will come to an end eventually. It doesn’t matter if there is an age gap there or not. You can’t stand in the way of death. That is a fact.

There will always be people who think that an age gap is wrong for various reasons. In the end its still a relationship. All relationships will come with there own issues.

Why Younger Women Like Older Men

Some people will say it’s because he is like a father to her. That may be the case for some women, but certainly not for the most of them. I can’t think of too many women who would want to date her father. She would like to date a man who has some of his qualities. But she will most likely look for those qualities in any many at any age range.

The truth is that a mans status rises with age. The older he gets the better he gets. Women like men who are of high status and high quality. This makes older men just perfect.

As he gets older he:

- Knows who he is.
- Is more comfortable with himself.
- Has experienced more at life.
- Would make a better father figure.
- Has established his career.
- Has accomplished more of his goals.
- Is more stable.
- Can be a better lover.
- Much more confident.
- Can have more engaging conversation.
- Is a better leader and decision maker.

There are probably many other things.

Why Older Men Like Younger Women

Most people will say that it is because he likes to walk around with a hot young woman on his arm. Maybe… But allot of these men are probably just as insecure about dating a younger woman as the woman is dating an older man. I’m sure many older men have put an end to things with a younger woman just because he couldn’t deal with thoughts of being seen with a younger woman.

The truth is that it is perfectly natural for men to be attracted to younger women. You may find it disgusting, but it really is just science. Younger women are the most fertile. This is why men will always enjoy looking at younger women and being around them. Men simply can not help it.

If your a woman in her 40 or 50’s don’t worry! There are reasons why men like older women too. Not every man is going to start dating younger women. It’s becoming more common for younger men to date older women!

What’s Right For You Now May Not Be Right For You Later

Now of days people look to date and maintain relationships that are good for them at a certain points in their life. Some people only want to date causally because they are busy establishing their career. Later on in life that same persons priorities may change. By the time they are 35 they might want to live a more settled lifestyle.

This all applies to age gap dating as well. A younger woman may be right for you right now and you might be right for her right now. As time passes things may change. You may no longer be right for one another.

This is just something you should keep in mind if you do choose to date a younger woman.
How To Date Younger Women

If your interested in dating a younger women there are some things you can do. The first thing you should do is get yourself in good shape. You got to be energetic, look good for your age, and feel good for your age. You need to be young at heart. Personality plays a big role.

Now you have to meet a younger woman. Where? Here are a few ideas.

- Yoga
- Online dating
- Malls
- Any classes. (Dancing classes, cooking classes.)
- Restaurants
- Coffee shops
- Just about anywhere

If your nervous about approaching a younger woman then all you have to do is wait for signals. Look for eye contact, smiles, her accidentally touching you, playing with her, and some those other usual signs. Watching for these signs can help save you some embarrassment of approaching a woman who finds older men gross.

Dealing With The Guilt Of Dating Younger Women

There is good chance that you will experience some guilt if you do flirt with and date younger women. Older women will most likely try to make you feel guilty if you do date younger women. If your divorced or separated your EX will probably give you a really hard time with it.

In the end you really have to go after what you want. If you happen to be attracted to a younger woman then why not take some time to get to know her? If it doesn’t work you can always go back to dating a woman of similar age.

It will be up to you to decide what age range you are comfortable with. Can you tolerate dating a woman who is in her early twenties? Maybe, but only if she is mature enough for you. Figure out what your age limit is and what sort of qualities she will need to posses for you to even consider dating her.

Conclusion

What all this comes down to in the end is two people who can make each other happy right now. Sometimes you just have to live in the moment. A woman who is the same age might make you miserable and a woman who is much younger may make you happy. Being happy is what it is really all about.