Do you know what’s your passion?

Do you know what you want?

Do you know who you want to be?

Many men look to their dating life to complete them. They think that a woman will make it all better. But….Have you ever met someone who married young?

Many people who marry young regret it. They thought all life was about was love,marriage, kids, and family. While that stuff is important, those who marry young learn a lesson.

The lesson?

- There is more to life then just the opposite sex.
- You will always want more of something.

And so their life ends up being a mess. They seek out someone else to make them happy instead of making themselves happy.

Here are a few things that will help you find out your identity:

What Are Your Goals

You know what it is you really want. Make those wants your goals. Make sure your doing it because you want it.

Do you want to get married because everyone else is? If that’s your reason, then you will have a hard time being happy.

Do you want to be a pickup artist because it’s really cool? If that’s your reason, then you may pickup lots of women and never be happy.

Make sure you think this through. Always ask yourself why you want something and are working towards it. How is that something going to make you feel more fulfilled?

Living In Your Own Reality

Many people will try to make up the rules you live by. Some of those rules are good and some of those rules are bad. Take the rules you like and use them in your own way. Don’t be afraid to ignore the ones you don’t like.

People will also try to control what you believe in. You need to make up your own mind about what to believe in.
Always questions rules and beliefs.

Here is a couple examples.

First dates must be a dinner and a movie. Why? First dates in my world might be meeting at the grocery store.

The best place to meet women at the club. Why? The best place for me to meet women might be at the bookstore.

What you will find is that you have more success with your own beliefs and rules, rather then someone else’s.

What Do You Value Out Of Life?

Make sure you know what is important to you.

If you find yourself buying expensive cars when you hate them, you have a problem. People get jealous of seeing others have more then them. The truth is that you could be richer and look more poor. It just depends on what you value.

Here is a few things about me.

- I wouldn’t want to drive an expensive sports car because I’m not that crazy over cars.
- I wouldn’t want to live in a mansion because I wouldn’t know what to do with all the space.
- I enjoy simple things as much as expensive things.

Your values might be the other way around. That’s okay. Your suppose to be different then me.

I hope you use this to find out your own identity.

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I would call her allot, talk to her way to much over the phone and through instant messaging, and I always wanted to see her. I used to think that I was doing the right thing. I have even had women tell me to call them all the time. Because she wanted me too… I thought I should do it.

When you really like a woman you don’t realize some of the stupid things that you are doing. There is no way anyone could tell me that I was smothering a woman back then. I believed that is what all women wanted without really thinking it through.

Here is the real truth when it comes to managing your time with women.

If a woman really wants to talk to you, she will call you herself or show up at your door herself. If she is telling you to call her she isn’t missing you enough yet. Women will beg, change their schedules, and do almost anything to spend time with a guy she is attracted to.

The less time you spend with her, the more she will actually want you. If the time you spend with her is fun, enjoyable, and full of great experiences for her, then she will only want more of it. The more time you give her to think about those past experiences, the more she will anticipate the ones for the future.

So how much time should you spend with a woman you have just met?

3 days, 4 nights, 3 minutes, and 30 seconds.

Just kidding…

You give her as much of your time as you can currently spare for her. Remember that you are just starting to date. Your really don’t know her very well yet. Giving her all your time would be ridiculous.

Make certain that you are a busy guy. I don’t mean fake being busy. You have to have things to do, places to go, and hobbies. Make these things your priority over her until things progress further.

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If you wanted to be a doctor then you have to pay the price of doing things that others wont. That means years of eduction, seeing people die, giving people bad news, and all the other quirks that go along with it. This makes you courages because few can do this job.

If you want a beautiful woman the same mentality applies. You have to overcome the fear of approaching her, dealing with her tests, overcoming your poor looks, and lack of money. Most of these are just obstacles that are in your own head. Most men won’t be able to overcome these obstacles witch will only give you an edge if you can.

You Wait For Nothing.

You don’t wait for people, you don’t wait for that great woman to come in your life, you don’t wait for opportunity, you don’t wait for money, you don’t wait for something easier, and you don’t wait for yourself to overcome fears.

You are a go getter. You are a doer.

When you go after what you want you are always making a step forward towards your goals. You overcome obstacles and boundaries that others are afraid to conquer. This is what makes you a man.

Your not very good looking? So what? Your strength, determination, lack of fear, and bullheaded attitude will get even the hottest of women.

Stop Living Life As If You Were Going To Live Forever

You will die.

I know it and so do you. What are you going to do about it? Keep watching TV? Is that going to get you your girl?

Don’t live your life based on fear. Live your life based on experience. What do you want to experience before you die? It doesn’t matter if you fail or succeed. It’s all about the experience of doing it and living your life.

Now get out there and do something!

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Here is the simple truth.

Most people are failures at life. They fail at their careers, at relationships, financially, and accomplishing many of their goals.

When these failures meet someone who isn’t a failure they become jealous of that person. Actually, they probably hate that person. In many cases they will do their best to bring a successful person down to their level.

When you get successful with women your going to find a large percentage of people will treat you differently. A few will respect your happiness… others will try to make your life miserable.

Were going to look at both sides of this.

First, if you are at a point in your life where you are very happy you need to handle these people a certain way. The ones who are most obnoxious are the ones you should avoid and ignore. In some cases this may mean giving up old friends and even some of your family.

Outside of that you need to handle people by being modest. You don’t need to brag or wave all your success in their face. Present your success to others in a casual way.

- Don’t make fun of others lack of success.
- Do not lecture people about what their doing wrong.
- Do not give out to much advice unless someone asks for it.
- Give credit where credit is due. Compliment others when they have success.
- Admit to any flaws that you may have from time to time.
- Let others know when they are better at something then you are.

Sometimes you will need to shake off certain comments that people make.

Person: Nice car. It must be nice to be that rich.
You: Thanks.

As you see you only need to address the compliment. Always look for something positive in their comments. Then only address that part of the comment. Ignore the extra stuff as if you didn’t even hear it.

Now, what if you are on the opposite side of success. Right now everything in you life is just wrong. How do you handle people that are more successful then you are without adapting that negative attitude?

Here is the answer to that.

You have to want to see other people succeed at life. You have to believe that there is enough success and happiness to go around for everyone. And, you have to believe that your success is coming.

If your friend gets a hot girlfriend don’t point out to him how terrible she is like allot of guys do. Instead, tell him how happy you are for him.

“Your girlfriend is hot. She has a nice personality too. Congratulations!”

You will find with that attitude you will feel better about yourself and others will feel better about you. Those two things alone will make you much more successful.

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How does a woman know that you are desperate?

How does she figure it out so fast?

Here are a few things that many men do to communicate to a woman that he is desperate.

- You use pickup lines. This doesn’t work because it shows her that you are out to pick her up and have sex with her immediately. You don’t know her yet and that is a turn off for just about any woman.

- You have a poor social life. This makes a woman believe that your chasing after her to fulfill that part of your life. Very lame.

- You use women to fulfill your needs. You can’t fulfill all your needs through a woman. Get your own life, with your own goals, and your own personal achievements.

- You don’t know how to control your sex drive. When most guys are horny they go to a bar, get drunk, and approach loads of women. Women can see this and pickup on it. You can use your need for sex in many other ways. Go work on your business or career, go accomplish that dream you want, and just find something else to focus on other then sex.

- You do anything to communicate to her that you seek her approval. Buying her lots of drinks, always paying her way, worshiping her, gift buying, agreeing with everything she says, and many other things.

What most of this boils down to is you using your need for sex to motivate you to excel in all areas of your life. This allows you to be the real man that all women want. When you have what a woman wants the whole meeting and dating thing gets allot easier.

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Maybe your going to run into a waitress with the food she is caring spilling all over you?

Maybe your going to get in a car accident?

Maybe your going to trip over your shoelace?

Only things this bad and embarrassing could ever happen to you.

You need to re-frame how you see the world. Instead of seeing the world as a gigantic accident waiting to happen you have to look for the good things. You have to believe that those good things can happen to you.

Somewhere along your life you never got the confidence you needed to succeed. Maybe your parents told you you weren’t going to succeed at anything in life. Maybe you were always told that bad things can happen to you, and that you should always look out for those bad things.

I’m here to tell you to stop all of that and not to worry about it.

Yeah, sure bad things can happen to you. But, don’t go out looking for those bad things or trying to avoid them. You will simply be walking yourself into one of life’s traps.

When your trying to avoid something you are actually walking yourself right into it. You are creating an obstacle that didn’t exist, but it does now in your head.

Your not going to get that strange illness that is going around.

Your not going to get in that car accident.

That beautiful woman isn’t going to slap you in the face for talking to her.

When you look for the good things you won’t be creating obstacles. What you will be doing is opening doors to a world of possibilities.

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Just because you like a woman and are attracted to her doesn’t mean it is time for you to jump into a relationship.

What makes this women so special and unique?

Are you not attracted to any other woman?

I’m willing to bet that the reason you want a relationship is because this woman is the only woman to feel attracted to you back. The moment any woman shows interest in you you feel like she will be your next girlfriend. It won’t matter who this woman really is.

This is called desperation. I have seen men get in relationships for this reason. It is almost never pretty.

Try asking yourself some of these questions.

Do you think that you could date many different women? You have to believe that there are many women for you to date.

Do you think that it is hard to meet woman? You have to believe it easy to meet women. Don’t stay with a woman because you think it is hard to meet women.

Are you sick of being single? You have see the benefits and good things of being single. Don’t get into any old relationship just because your sick of being alone.

Are you meeting women in the right kind of places. Don’t get in a relationship just because you are tired of going to clubs. Go to other places to meet women that you would like to date.

Do you think you need to be in a relationship to be complete? Don’t get into a relationship so that it makes you feel completed and fulfilled. You can get many sources of fulfillment in your life. A relationship alone will never fulfill you the way you think it will.

The idea is to get to the point where you meet a woman who is so good, and so amazing that she enhances your life. You choose to be with her because she is that good for you. She helps you soar to levels that you never even thought or new were possible. You do the same for her, and share that life with her.

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But all of those things can go on too long or be taken to an extreme. At some point you need to have some fun and you need to keep your social life in good order. If your social life is good it will help the other areas of your life too. So I’m going to give you a few tips for dating even when you are busy.

Tip #1: Meet Women Everywhere

Its common practice to wander through the day without even talking to any women. If your busy then you should make an effort to start meeting women everywhere. If you can take time to go get some coffee then you can take time to start a conversation with a beautiful woman.

- Talk to women on the elevator
- Talk to women while waiting in line
- Talk to women while at the coffee shop
- Talk to women while buying groceries
- Talk to women while your buying a new book

Just do it. Don’t use I’m too busy as an excuse to have a random conversation.

Tip #2: Hang Out With Busy People

Allot of professionals go to certain bars and pubs. They like to have a drink to unwind. Hotel bars are good for this and so are other types of lounges. When the day is done you might as well go here for a drink once an awhile too. Your only going to end up going home to watch TV anyways so you might as well give this a try.

Tip #3: Date Busy Women

One of the problems with being busy is finding a women that will put up with your schedule. A way around this problem is to date women that are also busy. A busy woman is more likely to understand your schedule and make time for you. If she wont make time for you then she probably isn’t really into you anyways.

Tip #4: Try Online Dating

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to find this here. Online dating makes meeting people allot easier. Unfortunately, you may have to learn how to work the system to make the most of it. Allot of women get lots of messages every day. You will need to make yourself stand out from the rest of the guys to get her attention.

Tip #5: Make Time To Meet New People Every Weak

Whether you like it or not your going to have to make time to meet women. Try to engage yourself in a certain activity every week that allows you to meet women. This could be classes, wine tasting events, art showings, clubs or lounges, or anything that you can think of. Just make sure that you make time for it every week.

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But how can an average guy like you show a woman that you have status? Don’t say you can’t because you can. Were going to look at a few ways that you can do it.

Status Symbol #1: Wearing The Right Clothes

Most men are not all that great when it comes to fashion. How many men fall under the jeans and t-shirt category? Probably allot. This doesn’t mean you have to give up on jeans and t-shirts. Just try to spice things up with a little more variety. Also, you can wear jeans that stand out and the same goes for your t-shirt.

It is interesting though, to dress up, and see how people pay more attention to you. You may even find that people give you allot more respect when you dress the right way. The image makes them assume that you are a somebody.

Status Symbol #2: High Status Attitude

You need to assume that others are at least equal to you, but never above you. Your local jerk that every woman seems to love is really good at this. You cant be fazed by a womans beauty, you can’t let her put you down, and you can’t let her impress you with things that impress most men. For example, if she is a model you have to act unimpressed.

Status Symbol #3: Being Social

The more people you know, and the more people who like you the better. Anyone who is liked by others is popular. She sees how they smile and light up in your presence. It all conveys status and turns her on.

Those are three things that even an ugly man can do. So get out there and teach yourself how dress better, make more friends, and adapt your new attitude.

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Women would talk to me, give me lots of attention, wonder what I was doing, and so on. I didn’t really do any one thing to ever meet them. These women just sort of popped up out of nowhere.

I just didn’t have the desire to do any dating. I didn’t want a girlfriend at all.

I adapted this attitude and lifestyle from a fairly early age. When I was in high school I cared more about sports. When I was in college I cared more about graduating and starting my career. I just didn’t concern myself with dating and sex the same way many men did at my age.

Women loved this attitude and outlook on life.

Later on I decided that maybe I should start dating more. So I decided that I needed to put more effort into it. Here is the interesting thing.

The more effort I put into my dating life the less I got out of it.

Read that more then once if you have to.

There is a lesson here. I had passion for my life. Women liked that passion.

Here are a few notes on why you need to find your passion.

- A guy who knows where he is going is a guy who is going places.
- A guy who has passion is exciting.
- A guy who has passion has identity. (He knows who he is)
- A guy who has passion is a leader not a follower.
- A guy who has passion is focused.
- A guy who has passion isn’t desperate or needy.
- A man who is passionate is happy.

All of these things have major benefits when it comes to your dating life. Here are some things that will go through a womans mind.

- I wonder if I can get him to put that kind of focus on me?
- I wonder if I can get him to be that passionate about me?
- This man is going places. This will be an exciting ride.
- This man knows who is and where he going. Great! No mind games!
- He just doesn’t do what everyone else does. He is so confident.

As you can see the benefits are almost endless. So what are you waiting for? There has never been a better time to find your passion. It doesn’t matter if you are 18 or 80. Get to it and find your zest for life.

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