Do you know what’s your passion?

Do you know what you want?

Do you know who you want to be?

Many men look to their dating life to complete them. They think that a woman will make it all better. But….Have you ever met someone who married young?

Many people who marry young regret it. They thought all life was about was love,marriage, kids, and family. While that stuff is important, those who marry young learn a lesson.

The lesson?

- There is more to life then just the opposite sex.
- You will always want more of something.

And so their life ends up being a mess. They seek out someone else to make them happy instead of making themselves happy.

Here are a few things that will help you find out your identity:

What Are Your Goals

You know what it is you really want. Make those wants your goals. Make sure your doing it because you want it.

Do you want to get married because everyone else is? If that’s your reason, then you will have a hard time being happy.

Do you want to be a pickup artist because it’s really cool? If that’s your reason, then you may pickup lots of women and never be happy.

Make sure you think this through. Always ask yourself why you want something and are working towards it. How is that something going to make you feel more fulfilled?

Living In Your Own Reality

Many people will try to make up the rules you live by. Some of those rules are good and some of those rules are bad. Take the rules you like and use them in your own way. Don’t be afraid to ignore the ones you don’t like.

People will also try to control what you believe in. You need to make up your own mind about what to believe in.
Always questions rules and beliefs.

Here is a couple examples.

First dates must be a dinner and a movie. Why? First dates in my world might be meeting at the grocery store.

The best place to meet women at the club. Why? The best place for me to meet women might be at the bookstore.

What you will find is that you have more success with your own beliefs and rules, rather then someone else’s.

What Do You Value Out Of Life?

Make sure you know what is important to you.

If you find yourself buying expensive cars when you hate them, you have a problem. People get jealous of seeing others have more then them. The truth is that you could be richer and look more poor. It just depends on what you value.

Here is a few things about me.

- I wouldn’t want to drive an expensive sports car because I’m not that crazy over cars.
- I wouldn’t want to live in a mansion because I wouldn’t know what to do with all the space.
- I enjoy simple things as much as expensive things.

Your values might be the other way around. That’s okay. Your suppose to be different then me.

I hope you use this to find out your own identity.

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Have you ever felt like panicking at the sight of a beautiful woman?

Have you ever just froze and didn’t know what to do with yourself at the sight of a beautiful woman?

Well, your not alone. There are millions of men in this world who are the same way. Even if these men can muster up the courage to talk to a woman they struggle to keep the conversation going.

So how can you overcome this problem?

Here are a few tips to help you out in this area:

Tip #1: What’s The Penalty If You Don’t Talk To Her?

There is always going to be a penalty if you don’t talk to her. That penalty can be as bad as being rejected.

- You may feel you let yourself down.
- You may spend another night alone.

And so forth.

Use this as motivation to actually talk to her.

Tip #2: She May Be Just As Nervous

If she finds you attractive or at least is flattered by your interest, she could be nervous too. She may even have her own set of problems.

- Is he just another player?
- What does he want from me?
- Do I trust him?

Realize that your not the only one who has things to think about.

Tip #3: Will It Kill You?

Will you live another day if she rejects you? What is the worst that could happen?

Think of the worst outcome you can think of. Will that outcome kill you? How likely is it for that outcome really to come true?

Your fear causes you to imagine things that are not likely to even occur.

Tip #4: Find Common Interest

If your both nervous then it can help to find common interests. Ideally you want her to point out what you have in common. This gets her to chase you. However, some women may be shy and won’t search for common interest. Ultimately you need to adjust based on her personality.

Try using “Have you ever…” To get her opinion, to get her to agree, and to share herself.

“Have you ever had an experience as exciting as that?”

Conclusion

In the end you won’t ever be comfortable talking to women until you practice. One of the things you should try doing is talking to women for the fun of it. Don’t bother hitting on them or trying to get their number. Just talk for the sake of being friendly.

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A new car?

Home theater?

A big house or fancy condo?

Have you worked really hard with the idea of getting rich?

Has any of that money really helped you get women?

Have you worked out to get really big muscles thinking that would get you the hot girl?

This type of attitude is all wrong. What you are really trying to do is get a woman to like you by showing her how great you are.

Confident men do not need to show how great they are. Those who are confident just assume that they are good enough just as they are.

Think of it like this.

What if a really fat girl walked up to you? She tells you she is rich, lives in a mansion, drives an expensive sports car, and all the things that she thinks makes her great. Would you think that she is attractive? Would you be tempted to sleep with this woman? You might, but only if your desperate.

The problem is that material things don’t get the woman. It’s always the man behind those things that she wants. And what she wants is a man who is comfortable with himself.. a man who doesn’t have to do anyone thing to try to impress her.

Here are a few examples of how not to impress a woman.

Trying To Be The Center Of Attention

This never works. It is very annoying. We all know someone who thinks that they need to be in the spotlight all the time.

What if you could put other people in the spotlight? What if you knew that sometimes you have to stand off to the side and let others soak up the attention? What if you could let other people impress you instead of you trying impress them?

Don’t take this too far though. Don’t become a turtle who goes and hides in his shell. Just realize the spotlight can be held over everyone.

Acting Like Something Isn’t Important To You

This is very tricky.

I just told you how material things are not very important to attraction, but that doesn’t mean those things can’t be important to you. It’s okay if you like cars and want to drive an expensive car. It’s not okay to use it to impress a woman.

This can get you into trouble over conversation.

You: I don’t like cars.
Her: Don’t you drive a Porsche.
You: Yes.
Her: Isn’t that allot of money to spend on a car that you don’t like?

Here is another example.

You: Money isn’t important to me.
Her: Then why did you bring it up?

Ouch that hurt.

Lets try this over again.

“I really love cars! I’m passionate about them. Ever since I was little I always wanted to own my very own Porsche”

“There certainly are more important things in life then money. But for me it’s not all about the money. It’s about the freedom and lifestyle it brings me. I enjoy being financially secure and not having to worry about making enough. I enjoy working hard for something and being rewarded for it.”

Trying To Tell Her Everything You Have Achieved

This is another common problem.

I have traveled here, there, and everywhere.

I’m the best at….

I have this amazing job and make x amount of money…

I have done…

All your doing here is qualifying yourself to her. This never works. Let her take interest in you by asking you questions. You can later show her pictures of where you have been and tell her stories of what you have done. But…let her take interest in you first.

Conclusion

This is just the beginning. There are many other things men do to try to impress a woman. Try to catch yourself making these mistakes. She doesn’t want to know how good you are. All she wants is a normal conversation with you to see where things go from there.

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The fear gets so bad that they start to lower their standards. They want to be able to see through that beauty, they feel ashamed for being attracted to beauty, and they no longer appreciate a womans beauty.

I have really big news for you!

It’s perfectly natural for you to want to look at, touch, be with, talk to, kiss, and be attracted to a beautiful woman. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Your just a normal guy. That’s all that it really means.

Don’t try to change the fact that men are attracted to beautiful women. Just accept it as the way things are. Women even like it this way. This is why they enjoy looking good, shopping, getting their hair done, wearing makeup, being feminine, and being a woman.

How To Finally See Her True Beauty

But, physical beauty is just the beginning. There is so much more that she has to offer underneath it. That is what you have to look for.

There will always be more beautiful women, but there will only be one of her. She has qualities that make her unique. Some of these are qualities you will like… some you will hate.

Discover, search, and find what makes her the unique, interesting woman, that she really is.

- Look at how she smiles. (She won’t smile like anyone else.)
- Listen to her laugh. (She won’t laugh like anyone else.)
- Find out how she views the world.(She won’t view it like anyone else.)
- Listen to what she says. (She has things to tell you that know one else can.)

Learn to appreciate the things that make her who she is. Take the time to actually get to know her. She’s not just a pretty face, she is really much more then just that.

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I would call her allot, talk to her way to much over the phone and through instant messaging, and I always wanted to see her. I used to think that I was doing the right thing. I have even had women tell me to call them all the time. Because she wanted me too… I thought I should do it.

When you really like a woman you don’t realize some of the stupid things that you are doing. There is no way anyone could tell me that I was smothering a woman back then. I believed that is what all women wanted without really thinking it through.

Here is the real truth when it comes to managing your time with women.

If a woman really wants to talk to you, she will call you herself or show up at your door herself. If she is telling you to call her she isn’t missing you enough yet. Women will beg, change their schedules, and do almost anything to spend time with a guy she is attracted to.

The less time you spend with her, the more she will actually want you. If the time you spend with her is fun, enjoyable, and full of great experiences for her, then she will only want more of it. The more time you give her to think about those past experiences, the more she will anticipate the ones for the future.

So how much time should you spend with a woman you have just met?

3 days, 4 nights, 3 minutes, and 30 seconds.

Just kidding…

You give her as much of your time as you can currently spare for her. Remember that you are just starting to date. Your really don’t know her very well yet. Giving her all your time would be ridiculous.

Make certain that you are a busy guy. I don’t mean fake being busy. You have to have things to do, places to go, and hobbies. Make these things your priority over her until things progress further.

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If you would then read this post right to the very end. Were going to look at some tips that will help you be and feel more confident.

Probably the biggest secret of attracting beautiful women is through confidence. This is the opposite of what most men think. Allot of guys want cool tricks and magic lines to get a woman to fall for him. Some of that stuff does work, but the tricks can’t go on forever. Eventually, you will want to get beyond all of that stuff.

Confidence Tip #1: Your Not Being Yourself

You know how everyone tells you to be yourself? Have you ever noticed how useless that advice really is?

You never really are being yourself!

- Being scared isn’t being yourself.
- Being nervous isn’t being yourself.
- Trying to impress women isn’t being yourself.

These are all behaviors of someone who is being anything but themselves. Do not take that advice too seriously. I used to hear that advice all the time. If anything it will only frustrate you even more.

Confidence Tip #2: Change The Reason Why You Are Approaching Her

This is huge.

Most guys approach a woman with the intent of hitting on her, flirting with her, getting her number, picking her up, and so forth. That can work if you are a player. But you aren’t a player. For the average guy, approaching a woman, for those reasons will only create anxiety.

You have to change the reason why you are approaching.

So what can that reason be?

- To get her opinion.
- To be friendly.
- To get the time.
- To ask for directions.
- To see what she is like.
- Something that is neutral.

You, then escalate and move things forward as you get her talking to you.

Confidence Tip #3: Don’t Place Too Much Importance On The Outcome Or Her

This one is another biggie.

When you see a beautiful woman you practically hypnotize yourself.

“I got to get this one!”

“I got to get her number for sure!”

“I can’t let this one get away!”

“I got to have sex with this woman!”

All of that just builds more anxiety and pressure. You either won’t approach, or if you do, you will make a fool of yourself.

There are an abundance of women on planted earth. They are everywhere and there will always be more of them. Approach her, talk to her, flirt with her, but don’t put pressure on yourself.

“You don’t have to have that woman.”

“You don’t have to get her number.”

“You don’t have to have sex with her.”

These are just possibilities if things happen to go well.

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You need to be able to maintain your authority when you are with a woman. Were going to look at how you can impress a woman and maintain that authority.

Your Appearance

The first thing she sees is how you dress, how you walk, your body language, and your overall sense of style. You really don’t have to look dominant or alpha as most people like to put it now of days.

You just have to look comfortable, relaxed, like your enjoying yourself, and almost as if the world moves at a different pace for you. Most people look stressed, busy, and as if they are in a hurry. Your relaxed presence will have a soothing effect on her.

Your Speech

The next thing that a woman is going to notice about you is your words. It isn’t so much what you say, but how you say it.

If you sound nervous, stutter, and mumble then you wont be congruent with your great appearance. A matter of fact, you will end up looking more like a liar. (Your not who you appear to be.)

Focus Your Attention

This is very important. Everything can fall apart right here if you don’t get this right.

Women are always on the lookout for liar’s. You have to be what you appear to be and be what she thinks you are. In other words, you have to be believable.

If you tell her a story, but can’t look her in the eyes, she won’t know if your telling the truth.

The same goes for asking her questions.

Don’t care about her answer? She won’t think your interest in her is real.

Don’t listen to what she says? She won’t think your interest in her is real.

Same thing with compliments too. Don’t tell her she is beautiful while you are staring at another woman.

Be Ready For Her Tests

She is probably going to test you to see if you can maintain your authority. She may ask you a challenging question to see if your lying or get on your nerves with her behavior. These sorts of tests need to handles correctly.

In many cases you can ignore her test, have her answer her own question first, or fight back by asking her a different question that will challenge her.

Don’t Suck Up To Her

Be nice, but not to nice too fast. Drink buying, gift buying, paying her way, and favors should be kept to a minimum early on. She may even try to get you to do those things early on as a test.

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I’ve written some about this before, but I’m going to give you another different spin on this.

I’m going to give you 3 step system that will help you overcome this fear of meeting women.

Step #1 Committing To Living In Your Own Reality

Why is this important? Because you are afraid of what she will think of you.

In your reality you are amazing. What you are afraid of is getting sucked into someone else’s reality. In their reality you are a dork, they hate the way you dress, the color of your hair, and even the way you walk.

Women can be very critical. If you wear a hat she might be disappointed to find out when you take it off, that you have no hair. She might be critical of many of the things you do, like, and have.

You have to commit to being you and loving you. You have to maintain the way you see yourself at all times.

Women will test you to see if you will change your opinions and views of yourself.

Her: I hate your T-shirt?
You: So? What’s your point?

Be strong. You wear what you wear because you like it. She doesn’t have to wear it, so her opinion doesn’t matter.

Step #2 Have Something Interesting To Say

Why is this important? Because your afraid you don’t have anything interesting to say, won’t know what to say, and will run out of things to say.

This doesn’t have to be that hard. If you ask open-ended questions you will be forcing her to say more then just “Yes” Or “No”. The more you focus on her the better. Add in your own opinions and comments so things don’t sound like an interview.

At the grocery store? Talk about food and cooking. If she ends up being Italian then you can talk about their culture, food and country. Are you getting the point?

Eventually you can even ask her what she does for a living, hobbies, and so forth. She will see and believe that you are interested in her by then.

Step #3 Know How To Respond To Rejection Responsibly

Why is this important? Because most men handle it very poorly and most men are hurt by it. They are so afraid of being rejected that they don’t bother to approach women.

Handle it with maturity. Other women could be watching and she may like you enough to introduce you to her friend that is close by. Most men don’t see things like that.

You: I enjoy talking to you. I would like to see you again.
Her: I have a boyfriend.
You: He’s a lucky guy. Make sure you tell him that for me will yeah?
Her: (Smiling) I will do that.

Don’t complain, don’t get rude, and don’t take it personally. Point your energy and focus to the next woman that is available.

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For example, if you were learning how to play basketball you will miss allot of shots at first. If you stick with the learning process you will start to make more and more shots. The more shots you make the more your confidence builds. You will still miss shots even once you have gotten good, but by then you will have learned how to deal with those misses on a mental level.

As you can see, there really is no substitute for experience. Your going to have to accept rejection as part of the learning process.

Now I’m going to give you 3 tips that will help ease the pain of rejection.

Tip #1 Set A Realistic Goal

For some reason allot of guys think that a woman should fall head over heals for him right off the start. It doesn’t really work that way. Be realistic about what a woman will give you back.

Can you get her to talk about herself?

Can you make her laugh?

Can you make her smile?

Can you get her number?

These are some of the things you should be focusing on. Forget about buying her flowers and then expecting her to fall in love with you. I wouldn’t bother even making sex your primary goal. Sex has a tendency to make allot of men stupid.

Tip #2 Watch Her Body Language

One of the best ways to minimize rejection is by knowing when to make your moves and knowing when to back off. This is great to learn as it can help your confidence when your learning this stuff.

If a woman is giving you signs she is disinterested and bored then excuse yourself. But if she is giving you go signs then it’s time to make your move.

Tip #3 Accept It As A Learning Experience

Learning can be allot of fun if you let it be. Most men won’t let it be fun. They take things way to serious.

When you ask a woman out you are giving her a choice. She gets the choice to see you again or the choice to never want to see you again. That is her decision to make. All you have to do is respect that decision and see what you can learn from it if she isn’t interested in you. What ever you do don’t take a “no” personally. Often you will find that you really didn’t do anything wrong at all.

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Are you one of those guys who can’t start a conversation?

Are you one of those guys who doesn’t feel comfortable in the presence of a beautiful woman?

I have good news for you. Today were going to take a look at how you can over come your issues with shyness.

Tip #1: Go Where Your Comfortable

Forget about approaching women in places that make you feel uncomfortable. Go to places where you will feel comfortable meeting strangers. In many cases this will be places where you have interests. If you like to work out then starting a conversation at the gym might be a good idea. If you like to bowl then meeting women at the bowling alley might be a good place for you to meet women.

Obviously, with you being shy you will find it difficult anywhere. But you still need to push your boundaries a little. So if your going to push then push in places where you will be more comfortable.

Tip #2: Learn Small Talk

Learn to talk to people everywhere. If your at the grocery store ask the cashier how her day has been. Start saying Hi and asking people How are you? Most people will just think your friendly.

Little things like this will help you out a great deal when it comes to building conversation skills. You don’t have to just practice on beautiful women. Start by talking to anyone.

Tip #3: Ask For Her Opinion

When you are stuck for things to say just ask her for her opinion on something. It won’t seem weired if it is in context.

At the bookstore you can ask her for her opinion on a good book.

At the grocery store you can ask her for her opinion on food.

This works because most people are eager to offer their own thoughts.

Tip #4: Take Classes Or Join A Club

The best way for a shy person to meet people is through classes, clubs, or groups. You will have the same interests as others that are there and this makes it easy for conversation. You don’t have to put any pressure on yourself to meet women. You can just make friends with them and be social.

Tip #5 Don’t Use It As An Excuse

Most people have moments of where their not open to meeting new people or where they find someone a little intimidating. We can all be a little shy sometimes.

The problem is when you fall back on your shyness as an excuse to not approach women. You have to make the decision to not be shy around a specific woman. Let her see some of your better qualities.

It’s not “I’m too shy.”

Instead it’s… “I might be a little shy, but I want to get to know her. I’m going to go ahead and speak to her.”

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