The Down Side Of Getting What You Want
By Tyler on Apr 18, 2008 in Passion & Life
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Some of the things I have to say today may make you angry.
Here is the simple truth.
Most people are failures at life. They fail at their careers, at relationships, financially, and accomplishing many of their goals.
When these failures meet someone who isn’t a failure they become jealous of that person. Actually, they probably hate that person. In many cases they will do their best to bring a successful person down to their level.
When you get successful with women your going to find a large percentage of people will treat you differently. A few will respect your happiness… others will try to make your life miserable.
Were going to look at both sides of this.
First, if you are at a point in your life where you are very happy you need to handle these people a certain way. The ones who are most obnoxious are the ones you should avoid and ignore. In some cases this may mean giving up old friends and even some of your family.
Outside of that you need to handle people by being modest. You don’t need to brag or wave all your success in their face. Present your success to others in a casual way.
- Don’t make fun of others lack of success.
- Do not lecture people about what their doing wrong.
- Do not give out to much advice unless someone asks for it.
- Give credit where credit is due. Compliment others when they have success.
- Admit to any flaws that you may have from time to time.
- Let others know when they are better at something then you are.
Sometimes you will need to shake off certain comments that people make.
Person: Nice car. It must be nice to be that rich.
You: Thanks.
As you see you only need to address the compliment. Always look for something positive in their comments. Then only address that part of the comment. Ignore the extra stuff as if you didn’t even hear it.
Now, what if you are on the opposite side of success. Right now everything in you life is just wrong. How do you handle people that are more successful then you are without adapting that negative attitude?
Here is the answer to that.
You have to want to see other people succeed at life. You have to believe that there is enough success and happiness to go around for everyone. And, you have to believe that your success is coming.
If your friend gets a hot girlfriend don’t point out to him how terrible she is like allot of guys do. Instead, tell him how happy you are for him.
“Your girlfriend is hot. She has a nice personality too. Congratulations!”
You will find with that attitude you will feel better about yourself and others will feel better about you. Those two things alone will make you much more successful.
Kenji | Apr 19, 2008 | Reply
This is probably the hardest thing one can do, be happy that someone has what you do not.
As always, it is hard to accept how these things are said but the truth of what is said is unavoidable.
Yes, it is hard to tell the guy your girlfriend looks up to. “Your a really great person and I wanted you to know that” and it is all to easy to try and find weaknesses to exploit in him, but he does not deserve that and as the underlying point of this article states. “Be happy with yourself first and she’ll be happy with you”.
Great post as I have come to see is always the case, I just wonder why I can’t find anyone else’s comments.
Tyler | Apr 19, 2008 | Reply
Hi Kenji
Thanks for your comments.
There isn’t many comments yet becuase very few people have left any. Most of the comments I have been getting have been spam. Those comments just get deleted as they don’t add any value to my blog.
Kenji | Apr 19, 2008 | Reply
Well don’t loose hope. I honestly do find your advice sound. I just squirm a little when I hear “put a woman in her place” I have too many sexist friends… I’d personally appreciate to see an “About me” page that answers what you mean by things like that.
Tyler | Apr 19, 2008 | Reply
Kenji
I don’t mean put her in her place as in making her your love slave. What I mean is not letting a woman dominant you. Women will test you to see how much control they have over you. If a woman can control to much of your behavior then she has a tendency to lose attraction. This means you could end up being her slave because she controls what you do and who you are. She will also lose allot of respect for you.
The “About me” page is coming eventually.
kenji | Apr 19, 2008 | Reply
I do believe that this kind of communication is best suited for e-mail and not to clutter a single comment section of your posts :p
Shoot me a line over e-mail if you’d like.
I think you are right that women do enjoy being controlled to an extent, I have lost a few girlfriends by trying to be equal with them when they wanted me to lead… If she wants to follow I guess you must do as she wishes to be a gentleman.
blacki | Apr 23, 2008 | Reply
Hi Tyler,
I think you must be a good person to think like this. life has just got a lot of contrdictions and people are just lost all the times.
The very act of trying to be good leads us to be bad although I wonder if the opposite is true.we are all unlucky (lucky) that our lives do not depend on our actions alone just as our happiness. We can’t directly make our selves happy or successful.
The worse of the contradictions is that at some times peoples’ happiness seems to depend on other peoples’ “unhappiness”. Thats surely when people tend to maximise their happiness by hurting others and making them less happy. I wonder how we can get out of this.
Thanks for your message. It confirmed a lot of what I have been living and thinking
Blacki
Tyler | Apr 23, 2008 | Reply
Hi Blacki
Thanks for your comments.
I’m probably going to write a little more on this in the future.
I don’t think allot of people mean to hurt other people with the things they say. Because they are frustrated with their own life it comes out that way. People just don’t always think things through before they say it.
I think one of the things that people have to do is realize that we all have bad things happen to us. It’s about how we respond to those bad things.
Even though someone might appear to be more lucky then you it doesn’t mean they haven’t ever been unlucky. They simply handled the adversity and obstacles that life threw at them better then the average person. They do this with the right mindset and attitude towards life.