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Most men like to focus on what they should be saying to a woman. Because this is what most men want this is often the advice they are given. The problem with this is that connecting with a woman and communicating goes beyond just words.

Truly connecting with a woman has allot to do with intimacy. If you can make her talk to you about anything and do almost anything then you have found yourself connected to this woman.

So how do you get to this point?

You let her talk about anything. Anything that she has to say can be said to you. If she is mad you let her express herself. If she is emotional you let her express herself. Whatever is going on in her life you let her express herself.

When a woman says anything it is because she is feeling something. When she says it to you she is telling you how she feels right now. The keyword is “feels.” Women like to feel things.

This does present another problem. How do you distract her from negative feelings and emotions? This is particularly a problem when you first start dating a woman. After all, you don’t want to listen to all of her problems.

You: How was your week?
Her: I feel terrible because everything went wrong at work. First the heel on one of my hot pink shoes broke while walking to work. Do you know how that feels? Never mind. On Wednesday I spilled coffee on my favorite skirt…..(On and on she goes)

This wouldn’t make good conversation for a first date. She will ruin the whole thing if she keeps going. You have to empathize with her for a little bit then move things in a different direction.

“You know it sounds like you have had a pretty bad week. I have had few myself. Do you think you can let that go for now and just let yourself feel good for the night. Or should I just take you home?”

Don’t be afraid to send her packing if she is an emotional wreck. In the early stages of dating you have very little invested in her to put up with that.

Make sure that you don’t try to solve her problems. That wont work at all. Remember that she just wants someone to know how she feels right now. You let her get some of it out of her system then do your part to get it off her mind for the rest of the night.

This is a bit counterintuitive, but what you end up doing is solving the way she feels by being her escape from those negative feelings.