Charming Man Blog: Attract Women With Charm!

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Most men are frustrated and desperate. They want sex, but they aren’t getting any. This leads them to a very big problem.

What is that problem?

They become so desperate that they would take any woman that would have them. This woman could be a killer, gold digger or who knows what.

Here are a few red flags to look out for.

Red Flag #1: It Was Her EX Husbands Fault

It’s true that it might have been his fault. But it still takes two to make a marriage. The odds are she was failing somewhere.

What you will find is that this is just the beginning. Everything is always someone else’s fault. Usually it was her Ex’s fault.

- It’s his fault she doesn’t have a job.
- It’s his fault she lives with her mom.
- It’s his fault that she has no money.
- 10 years from now it will all still be his fault.

When you start dating her she is really looking towards you to blame her next failures on. Look out for this woman.

Red Flag #2: Revenge On Lovers

It’s natural for people to get angry after a breakup. It’s a painful and emotional experience. But some people get carried away with it. This particularly holds true for women.

Many women will get angry. They will try to take his money, his home, damage his career, his ego, and anything that she thinks is valuable to him.

Now how and the heck will you ever get over a breakup like that? In most cases you still won’t feel any better. A matter of fact you won’t feel better until you do move on. You sure haven’t moved on when you are seeking out revenge.

Watch out for what a woman has done in her past to Ex lovers. If she has done something to them then she will do something to you.

Red Flag #3: Poor Independence

Some men still like the idea of women depending on them.

News Flash!
If a woman depends on you your in trouble.

She will live off you and rack up big bills. It will only be a matter of time before she cheats on you.

In today’s society independence is necessary as much for women as it is for men.

Red Flag #4: She Doesn’t Want To Introduce You To Friends And Family

If a woman likes you she will want you to meet the people who are close to you. If she doesn’t want to introduce you to those that are close to her, then you have to wonder what your role in her life really is.

What is she using you for?

What does she want from you?

Think this through carefully.

Red Flag #5: She Smothers The People She Likes

I have actually heard women say that they like giving special attention to those they like. This isn’t always as nice as it sounds.

- She starts making plans for the two of you all the time.
- She stays at your place ever weekend.
- She leaves stuff at your place.
- She calls you all the time.
- She drives you completely insane.

Watch how a woman communicates to those she likes. If you catch her early you might be able to avoid that stalker.

Starting a conversation and maintaining an engaging conversation are two different things. The starting part is really nothing more then getting a womans attention. Once most men realize this, starting conversations becomes easy. The hard part is keeping her attention.

In todays post were going to be taking a look at 10 key factors that will help you maintain an engaging conversation with any woman you choose.

1.Talk With Energy: Most men are so nervous that they mumble, talk in a low tone or too high pitch, and seem sad to be talking to her. Your aim should be to bring some energy to her life. The idea is to bring her up. Don’t be one of those guys who bring her down.

2.Don’t Dominate The Conversation: Have you ever been in one of those conversations where the other person never seems to shut up? It makes it hard for you to voice your own thoughts. Doesn’t it? It almost makes you seem like you can’t get away from them because they never shut up! Watch her carefully to see if she has anything to say. Watch her carefully to see if she is bored or wants to get away. This helps keep the conversation open.

3.Ask Questions: Open-ended questions work best. But you don’t always have to use open-ended questions. Sometimes just saying “really?” “what was that like?” will get her to give up more information.

4.Talk About What She Likes: Everybody’s favorite topic is themselves. If you only talk about what interest you, then the conversation will only be about you. Talk about her first. When she is ready she will ask you plenty of questions about yourself with lots of interest on her part.

5.Get Her To Teach You: When the conversation is on something you know nothing about don’t fake that you do know something. What you do is get her to teach you more about that topic. Ask questions, tell her to explain things, get her to demonstrate, and so forth.

6.Be Interesting: This has as much to do with not being boring as it does as being interesting. The more you talk about her the more interesting you will be. The more you relate to her, the more you talk to her about her fantasizes, and the more you mix it up with some humor the better.

7.Use Your Body Language: If you enjoy talking to her you can use your body language to encourage her to keep talking. Allot of guys now of days like to lean away from a woman. But..if you really enjoy talking to her leaning in a little bit after she has started talking will show her you like what you hear.

8.Adjust To The Environment: Normal conversation is rarely good enough if you are at a party or club. You need some energy, humor, fun, and even be comfortable with your sexuality. If a girl is wearing something that reveals her boobs you might say..”If I didn’t know any better I would think that shirt was designed to get me to look at your boobs.” That sounds almost too forward, but when done correctly you will get a surprising response from her. This sort of thing can help initiate the flirting.

9.Enjoy Her, But Don’t Workshop Her: One of the things you have to be careful with is trying to become too agreeable. This is when you start changing your opinions and values so that you can be more like her. Don’t be afraid to disagree. You just have to do it in the right way.

10.Challenge Her: This shows a woman that you have some guts. If she is wearing big glasses that make her stand out you could say “I hate it when people wear certain things just to stand out.” See how she responds to that. There is nothing wrong with ruffling a few feathers and getting under skin. You can be certain that she will do it to you.

If you can integrate some of what is taught here you should be able to have more success with your conversations.

Do you know who you are?

Do you know what’s your passion?

Do you know what you want?

Do you know who you want to be?

Many men look to their dating life to complete them. They think that a woman will make it all better. But….Have you ever met someone who married young?

Many people who marry young regret it. They thought all life was about was love,marriage, kids, and family. While that stuff is important, those who marry young learn a lesson.

The lesson?

- There is more to life then just the opposite sex.
- You will always want more of something.

And so their life ends up being a mess. They seek out someone else to make them happy instead of making themselves happy.

Here are a few things that will help you find out your identity:

What Are Your Goals

You know what it is you really want. Make those wants your goals. Make sure your doing it because you want it.

Do you want to get married because everyone else is? If that’s your reason, then you will have a hard time being happy.

Do you want to be a pickup artist because it’s really cool? If that’s your reason, then you may pickup lots of women and never be happy.

Make sure you think this through. Always ask yourself why you want something and are working towards it. How is that something going to make you feel more fulfilled?

Living In Your Own Reality

Many people will try to make up the rules you live by. Some of those rules are good and some of those rules are bad. Take the rules you like and use them in your own way. Don’t be afraid to ignore the ones you don’t like.

People will also try to control what you believe in. You need to make up your own mind about what to believe in.
Always questions rules and beliefs.

Here is a couple examples.

First dates must be a dinner and a movie. Why? First dates in my world might be meeting at the grocery store.

The best place to meet women at the club. Why? The best place for me to meet women might be at the bookstore.

What you will find is that you have more success with your own beliefs and rules, rather then someone else’s.

What Do You Value Out Of Life?

Make sure you know what is important to you.

If you find yourself buying expensive cars when you hate them, you have a problem. People get jealous of seeing others have more then them. The truth is that you could be richer and look more poor. It just depends on what you value.

Here is a few things about me.

- I wouldn’t want to drive an expensive sports car because I’m not that crazy over cars.
- I wouldn’t want to live in a mansion because I wouldn’t know what to do with all the space.
- I enjoy simple things as much as expensive things.

Your values might be the other way around. That’s okay. Your suppose to be different then me.

I hope you use this to find out your own identity.

Have you ever seen an attractive woman and didn’t know what to say?

Have you ever felt like panicking at the sight of a beautiful woman?

Have you ever just froze and didn’t know what to do with yourself at the sight of a beautiful woman?

Well, your not alone. There are millions of men in this world who are the same way. Even if these men can muster up the courage to talk to a woman they struggle to keep the conversation going.

So how can you overcome this problem?

Here are a few tips to help you out in this area:

Tip #1: What’s The Penalty If You Don’t Talk To Her?

There is always going to be a penalty if you don’t talk to her. That penalty can be as bad as being rejected.

- You may feel you let yourself down.
- You may spend another night alone.

And so forth.

Use this as motivation to actually talk to her.

Tip #2: She May Be Just As Nervous

If she finds you attractive or at least is flattered by your interest, she could be nervous too. She may even have her own set of problems.

- Is he just another player?
- What does he want from me?
- Do I trust him?

Realize that your not the only one who has things to think about.

Tip #3: Will It Kill You?

Will you live another day if she rejects you? What is the worst that could happen?

Think of the worst outcome you can think of. Will that outcome kill you? How likely is it for that outcome really to come true?

Your fear causes you to imagine things that are not likely to even occur.

Tip #4: Find Common Interest

If your both nervous then it can help to find common interests. Ideally you want her to point out what you have in common. This gets her to chase you. However, some women may be shy and won’t search for common interest. Ultimately you need to adjust based on her personality.

Try using “Have you ever…” To get her opinion, to get her to agree, and to share herself.

“Have you ever had an experience as exciting as that?”

Conclusion

In the end you won’t ever be comfortable talking to women until you practice. One of the things you should try doing is talking to women for the fun of it. Don’t bother hitting on them or trying to get their number. Just talk for the sake of being friendly.

Have you bought anything lately with the hopes that it would help you out with the ladies?

A new car?

Home theater?

A big house or fancy condo?

Have you worked really hard with the idea of getting rich?

Has any of that money really helped you get women?

Have you worked out to get really big muscles thinking that would get you the hot girl?

This type of attitude is all wrong. What you are really trying to do is get a woman to like you by showing her how great you are.

Confident men do not need to show how great they are. Those who are confident just assume that they are good enough just as they are.

Think of it like this.

What if a really fat girl walked up to you? She tells you she is rich, lives in a mansion, drives an expensive sports car, and all the things that she thinks makes her great. Would you think that she is attractive? Would you be tempted to sleep with this woman? You might, but only if your desperate.

The problem is that material things don’t get the woman. It’s always the man behind those things that she wants. And what she wants is a man who is comfortable with himself.. a man who doesn’t have to do anyone thing to try to impress her.

Here are a few examples of how not to impress a woman.

Trying To Be The Center Of Attention

This never works. It is very annoying. We all know someone who thinks that they need to be in the spotlight all the time.

What if you could put other people in the spotlight? What if you knew that sometimes you have to stand off to the side and let others soak up the attention? What if you could let other people impress you instead of you trying impress them?

Don’t take this too far though. Don’t become a turtle who goes and hides in his shell. Just realize the spotlight can be held over everyone.

Acting Like Something Isn’t Important To You

This is very tricky.

I just told you how material things are not very important to attraction, but that doesn’t mean those things can’t be important to you. It’s okay if you like cars and want to drive an expensive car. It’s not okay to use it to impress a woman.

This can get you into trouble over conversation.

You: I don’t like cars.
Her: Don’t you drive a Porsche.
You: Yes.
Her: Isn’t that allot of money to spend on a car that you don’t like?

Here is another example.

You: Money isn’t important to me.
Her: Then why did you bring it up?

Ouch that hurt.

Lets try this over again.

“I really love cars! I’m passionate about them. Ever since I was little I always wanted to own my very own Porsche”

“There certainly are more important things in life then money. But for me it’s not all about the money. It’s about the freedom and lifestyle it brings me. I enjoy being financially secure and not having to worry about making enough. I enjoy working hard for something and being rewarded for it.”

Trying To Tell Her Everything You Have Achieved

This is another common problem.

I have traveled here, there, and everywhere.

I’m the best at….

I have this amazing job and make x amount of money…

I have done…

All your doing here is qualifying yourself to her. This never works. Let her take interest in you by asking you questions. You can later show her pictures of where you have been and tell her stories of what you have done. But…let her take interest in you first.

Conclusion

This is just the beginning. There are many other things men do to try to impress a woman. Try to catch yourself making these mistakes. She doesn’t want to know how good you are. All she wants is a normal conversation with you to see where things go from there.

In todays world women are tough. Women are independent and many of them like to show it. This doesn’t change the fact that a woman will look to you for strength and protection. There are ways to go about doing this. There are also ways to go about doing this that are completely wrong.

Today were going to look at how you can do it in the right way.

#1 Protection Of Her Feelings And Emotions

This is the most important one of them all.

Just because a woman acts tough doesn’t mean she is tough. Women are emotional by nature. Most women will get really emotional towards that special man in her life. She looks to him to help control those emotions. But if you can’t control them then she can ruin your relationship.

For example, I know a guy who’s wife would scream at him all the time for no reason at all. The truth is that she is screaming at him for a reason. She needs something from him…she needs him to help control her emotions. She is angry and she feels she can let it out on him.

Now, of course no one likes being screamed at all the time. He had to do something or else their marriage would come to an end.

What did he do?

- He came home from work
- She screamed at him
- e pinned her against the wall
- He calmly told her the way things were going to be from now on.
- He kissed her passionately, told her that he loved her, and told her you can talk to me but not scream at me.

It worked.

The lesson? You always have to be aware of a womans emotions and feelings when you communicate to her. Women need to be protected from their own emotions.

#2 Support

All her life people have told her she can’t do it. All she ever wanted was someone to believe in her. Her friends didn’t and her family didn’t.

Along comes a man in her life. This man believes she can do it and will be there for her every step of the way. This is the kind of support she has always wanted!

The lesson?

You can protect her from all the people who didn’t believe in her.

#3 Problems

You have probably heard that you shouldn’t listen to a womans problems. What a load of crap that is.

Don’t listen to a womans problems when you first start dating. But…as things progress you only look like a jerk if you don’t offer her support in this area.

- You don’t have to fix her problems.
- You don’t have to tell her how to fix her problems.

You can listen to her problems and support her when dealing with them.

“This is obviously bothering you. I want you to take care of this first thing in the mourning. Call me afterwards to let me know how things went.”

The lesson?

We all need someone to be there for us when things go wrong in our life.

Conclusion

I hope you use these 3 things in your own dating life and relationships. You will find that these can even work with any relationship. They are very simple, but also very useful. Take notice that these are not the simple nice guy type things. Your not buying her flowers or taking her out to an expensive restaurant hoping that it will make her feel better. These are things that help create positive feelings in her.

The other day I heard a couple guys talking about women.

Here is what they were talking about.

If a woman is interested, would she say maybe to your offer to go out sometime?

Here is the truth.

What woman would say maybe to a guy she is really interested in?

Hardly any woman would. Sure, some of them might play hard to get, but if she is really interested she can hardly wait to go with you. She knows that if she says no the whole opportunity could be lost.

That rule is not written in stone. Women can change their mind just like the wind changes the direction that it blows.

A woman may say maybe if there is other possible plans for her. Maybe she has plans to go shopping with her girlfriends or something else that is a possibility. What happens if those plans get canceled? That’s when you may become her next best option.

Here is what you do.

If a woman says maybe, give her your number.

“If you change your mind here is my number.”

Don’t tell her you will be waiting around for her call and don’t even bother waiting around for her to call you. Your putting your number out there to see if anything bites. Sometimes something bites, but often nothing will.

One of the problems many men have is the fear of a beautiful woman. They see her from a distance and then the fear sets in. They don’t know what to do or what to say to her. In most cases they end up doing nothing but looking at her.

The fear gets so bad that they start to lower their standards. They want to be able to see through that beauty, they feel ashamed for being attracted to beauty, and they no longer appreciate a womans beauty.

I have really big news for you!

It’s perfectly natural for you to want to look at, touch, be with, talk to, kiss, and be attracted to a beautiful woman. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Your just a normal guy. That’s all that it really means.

Don’t try to change the fact that men are attracted to beautiful women. Just accept it as the way things are. Women even like it this way. This is why they enjoy looking good, shopping, getting their hair done, wearing makeup, being feminine, and being a woman.

How To Finally See Her True Beauty

But, physical beauty is just the beginning. There is so much more that she has to offer underneath it. That is what you have to look for.

There will always be more beautiful women, but there will only be one of her. She has qualities that make her unique. Some of these are qualities you will like… some you will hate.

Discover, search, and find what makes her the unique, interesting woman, that she really is.

- Look at how she smiles. (She won’t smile like anyone else.)
- Listen to her laugh. (She won’t laugh like anyone else.)
- Find out how she views the world.(She won’t view it like anyone else.)
- Listen to what she says. (She has things to tell you that know one else can.)

Learn to appreciate the things that make her who she is. Take the time to actually get to know her. She’s not just a pretty face, she is really much more then just that.

Technology is a really great thing. Now of days you have a number of different options at your disposable when it comes to contacting a woman. Phone, email, instant messaging, social networking sites, and text messaging are all decent options.

Witch one is really the best?

They all have there advantages and disadvantages, but the one that is still the best is the phone call.

Why the phone?

Because phone calls still show the most confidence. You won’t be hiding behind a computer, and she won’t be able to either. Let’s not forget that being able to hear each others voice is also important.

The main problems that most men have with phone calls are:

1.Too shy to call and talk over the phone.(Fear)
2.Getting her on the phone or getting her to call back.

The first one just means you have to practice more. Talk to some of your friends over the phone more often and talk to a friend before you call her. Get yourself in a social mood before you even give her a call.

The second one can be more difficult. You need to leave a compelling message on her voice mail, find when is the best time to call, or give out your number to get her to call you.

Leaving a compelling message takes some trial and error. Once you find a few that work you can use them on other women.

“Hi Sarah. I walked passed you today and said Hi. You just kept on walking like you didn’t even know me. I said to myself that girl sure is a…. Well you get the idea. I’m not sure if your as nice as I originally thought.”

I have no clue if that message would work at all. It’s just something I thought up while writing this. But the idea is to perk her curiosity and get her attention, and make her want to prove that she is nicer then what you think she is.

That message would probably work better if you have called her several times, and she has yet to return your call.

There are lots of different tricks you can use, but I’m going to stop there for now.

In summary:

- The phone is still the best way to contact a woman, but you should use other methods too.
- Practice talking over the phone if your not good at it.
- Get yourself in a social mood before you call her.
- Leave compelling messages that perk her curiosity to get her to want to call you back.

If your anything like me you have probably turned a woman off by smothering her to death. Now I don’t do that now, but it was a lesson that was hard to learn.

I would call her allot, talk to her way to much over the phone and through instant messaging, and I always wanted to see her. I used to think that I was doing the right thing. I have even had women tell me to call them all the time. Because she wanted me too… I thought I should do it.

When you really like a woman you don’t realize some of the stupid things that you are doing. There is no way anyone could tell me that I was smothering a woman back then. I believed that is what all women wanted without really thinking it through.

Here is the real truth when it comes to managing your time with women.

If a woman really wants to talk to you, she will call you herself or show up at your door herself. If she is telling you to call her she isn’t missing you enough yet. Women will beg, change their schedules, and do almost anything to spend time with a guy she is attracted to.

The less time you spend with her, the more she will actually want you. If the time you spend with her is fun, enjoyable, and full of great experiences for her, then she will only want more of it. The more time you give her to think about those past experiences, the more she will anticipate the ones for the future.

So how much time should you spend with a woman you have just met?

3 days, 4 nights, 3 minutes, and 30 seconds.

Just kidding…

You give her as much of your time as you can currently spare for her. Remember that you are just starting to date. Your really don’t know her very well yet. Giving her all your time would be ridiculous.

Make certain that you are a busy guy. I don’t mean fake being busy. You have to have things to do, places to go, and hobbies. Make these things your priority over her until things progress further.